AUTIE JOY, Uncle Bernie

Geez, either I am too busy to post, or just darn right forgetful! What an eventful spring this has been! Leading into summer, I don't think it's going to slow down. We will have another Helvey baby boy in our midst this week...WELCOME Boy # 3 (no name yet, but I will be sure to post a cute Pic with annoucement) to Jesse & Lisa Helvey. There's one thing in life I really really love, besides my husband & Katie, and that's being the Best-est Auntie in the world. I recently saw little Mr. William Miles Grem in Athens. What a beauty! Or should I say, "He is so handsome!". Check out the smiles he gives his Aunt Joy.

Over Memorial Day weekend, Vernon & I went to Lake Norman to visit Mike & Michelle & Megan. Sorry we didn't get to see Zach, but we will be back this summer. I loved hearing Megan, in her sweetest princess voice, "Uncle Bernie, will you .....", "Uncle Bernie, pulllleezz". This child has a way about her, that just wraps your heart & sould around her little finger. Lookout boyz, she's a man-eater! What I mean to say is this: at four years old she can look at you, out from under those hooded white-blonde eyebrows, with steely blue eyes, and you just melt. "What-ever you want" is the only thing coming to mind. I don't see how Mike & Michelle do it. Saying No, that is. I for one could not. I even dove into murky lake water to save a drowned squid, just 'cause she had a tear or two. She is of course a real fairy princess, with all the bling. Keep your tiara polished, darling; wear it often!

Here's a funny email I got a while back. Girls will be Gurlz......

Mat-tel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Metropolitan Charlotte market:

"South Charlotte Barbie" This princess Barbie is sold only at Southpark Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

"Lake Norman Barbie" The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Freedom Drive Barbie" This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ....unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Myers Park Barbie" This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

"Mooresville Barbie" This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Gastonia Barbie" This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Mooresville Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home, wheels or fake brick underpin included.

"Dilworth Barbie" This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Dilworth Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"CMS Barbie" This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"No Dad Barbie/Ken" This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

Not sure who came up with it, but THANKS for the CLASSIC!!!